Happy Birthday to me!!

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I woke up this morning reflecting on my life so far. I am proud the life i’ve lived. It has had so many lows, so many highs and I am grateful for it all. For the first time in my life I have complete peace. I don’t waste my time worrying about what I don’t have but instead I truly appreciate all that I am blessed with. This past year I welcomed my first grandchild, married the love of my life and got to bring him to Texas to meet my entire family. 2018 has been so good to me and I know it will only get better. So for my birthday post I want to share a few lessons learned from experiences that I have had the blessing of going through and getting through!!

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Find your passion

and work on it daily!!

Sometimes we have to take certain jobs to bring food to the table. Sometimes we get lucky and get to work in the field we are passionate about….but sometimes we don’t. That shouldn’t stifle your passion though. We are all here for a reason, we all have a destiny, a reason and there is nothing that feels better when you find that reason and get to work on it!! I am so grateful that I get to work in my field. It took years of me doing what others thought I should before I took the plunge, quit my job and focused on what I know I was meant to do. Everyday I am reminded why, every order I receive, every photo shoot I book, every comment or message I get from a woman thanking me for showing them how to love themselves…all of that is because I decided to work on my passion no matter what others thought!!

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Love yourself first..

then watch how you manifest what you want in life

I could write a book on this topic, but I will say this. When I was in the worst place in my life, everything around me reflected that. My home was a mess, my relationships were a mess, I just didn’t think I was worthy of having more. I had to work at loving myself because that was something I was unfamiliar with. I became a mother young, and learned to always love others more. I would FIGHT for my children but yet I allowed people to treat me like second best. I loved them, loved them so much I was blind to the fact that they didn’t love me. I did this to many relationships until I had enough. I decided being alone was better than a cycle of abuse that I was inflicting onto myself, and it was only then I was able to allow the right people in. I always say that when I met Brian I had a zero tolerance for games, and as our relationship progressed I did not and would not put up with what I had put up in the past. He knew it, he knew that as much as I loved him, I had to FINALLY love myself more. As much as we want to put it all on the other person in the relationship, if we are truly honest with ourselves we will realize that someone can only continue to treat us the way we allow them too.

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Forgive

yourself and anyone who has ever wronged you…

This one is tough. I think it’s harder to forgive yourself then it is to forgive others. I did not like myself for so long. I allowed a stranger many years ago alter what I thought of myself and it took so many years to get myself back. In between I let the cycle repeat itself and before I knew it I didn’t know who I was. I remember shortly after my ex and I separated I was working at a job that was predominantly women. I was a shell of a person, so emotionally drained that I didn’t have much to give others. I looked up to someone who honestly had her own demons she was battling with. At the time I looked up to her so much that I poured my soul to her and others that would turn around to bite me in the butt in the end. I thought I could have others help me to find who I really was, but the truth was no one could do that. In the end it was something I had to get far away from, and in retrospect I see that it was something I needed to see that I had to do the hard work for myself. So I started to work on myself, and now when I look back I forgive those who wronged me in the moment because they too were dealing with their own battles. Forgiving them doesn’t mean I have to be friends with them, but it does mean that I let go of any negativity associated with their memories and that is freeing. So is forgiving yourself…it is freeing and needed to truly find happiness!

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Lastly…LOVE

show love, be love, spread love…LOVE

None of us have a perfect life, no matter what tv, the internet, social media, etc. etc. shows you, no one has it all together. But the one thing we all want, that we all need is love. You may be waiting on a partner in your life, you may feel down, but you still have the ability to love and show love to others. I’ve learned what you put out, you get back. That is the good and the bad! I often think about what I want to leave behind when it’s my time to leave this world and the one word that always comes to mind is LOVE. I always pray that I have showed enough love that when I am gone I am still felt in this realm. I pray I can encourage others to spread love, because it is the one singular thing that connects us all.

I am so grateful that God has allowed me to see 41 years, and I pray with every passing year I can become a better person and continue to live the life I am destined to live. Thank you to all who have wished me a happy birthday!!!! I promise to enjoy my day and celebrate the exact way I want!!!