I never knew how much I needed you...


One year ago I met this little girl who would completely change my life. I always wanted a big family, after all I birthed 4 kids. I was so obsessed with my babies, they remain the constant in my life..the hardest and most rewarding thing I have ever done. I never knew I could love another the way I love them, and then this little brown hair, big brown eyed little girl came into the world on May 4, 2018. She was brought into this world by her brave and strong mama, surrounded by her grandma, great grandma and Aunt! A circle of women, welcoming the newest generation…it is something I will carry in my heart forever.

Many of you know that I was due to give birth around the same time as when my granddaughter would be born, but unfortunately I miscarried 2 months into my pregnancy. It was my third miscarriage and it was such a painful loss. Through my loss I focused on the happy parts of my life, and when I first laid eyes on my granddaughter God instantly healed my heart. I had always heard that becoming a grandparent was the most amazing experience….they were not lying. I can’t express adequately the love I have for her, but I will try in the form of this open letter to her…so this is for you my sweet angel.

To my first grandchild,

Today you turn a year old and for 365 days now you have had me wrapped completely around your finger. Anastassia, you were born into a family that has so much love for you that sometimes it’s overbearing. Sometimes we fight over who gets to be around you, how much we get to be around you, and for how long. We can’t get enough of your presence because you are truly such a gift to all of us. My dearest granddaughter, from the moment I found out I was to be a grandmother I fell head over heels in love with you. Meeting you for the first time was one of the greatest days of my life and each day thereafter has been nothing less than a gift. I come from a long line of women who exude love and selflessness to their family and everyday I try to show you the same thing. I want you to know that I will love you fiercely, be here for you always and remind you every single day that you are strong, beautiful and can do whatever it is you want!!! You come from a long line of strong women on both sides of your family and you too will blaze your own trail in this life!! Thank you Anastassia for coming into my life, for completely healing your mimi’s broken heart. Loving you is something I do not take lightly. I am proud of you my sweet pumpkin and your mimi will spend the rest of her days covering you in love, security and confidence!!!

Love always,